Sculpting My Own Boyfriend: The Grimbaud Life

You've probably read the blurb for Love Charms and Other Catastrophes by now. And no doubt, this particular part has caused you pause:

"Concerned that its favorite charm maker has given up on finding a boyfriend of her own, Love takes matters into its own hands and delivers the perfect boyfriend to her in a giftwrapped box...literally."

Literally. 

I don't know how I would react if I found a boyfriend wrapped in a nice box on my doorstep. Nope. No idea. 

But as I did some shopping this month, I found something that I knew I had to try because it reminds me of Hijiri. It might, in fact, be a thing sold in Grimbaud. 

I'm still not sure if a love charm is attached to this thing, but... this is for you, guys. I bought this:

Yes, this is a real thing. Take a moment to read the front and back of the kit. Savor those words. Your, your, your. I love the focus.

In February, when you can't help but look at others - other couples, in particular, and jab your own heart in the process - the message here is ironically sweet for a joke gift. The minute you open the kit, this is about what you want. Kind of appealing. 

So let's see how I did with it.

As promised, the kit comes with polymer clay and an instruction booklet. This is the time where you sit with your eyes closed, envisioning the perfect guy you'll create with your super fantastic artistic skills. 

Then you actually start sculpting head. And it begins:

I'm not getting "dreamy," are you? He looked more like John Malkovich as a Muppet. 

Plus, I got fingernail prints all over him. BATTLE SCARS. How do polymer clay sculptors avoid making those???

Thoughts I was meditating on: What is love? What's for dinner? Why do I love it when guys roll up their shirtsleeves? Who thought it was a good idea to put googly eyes in this kit and why would that be romantic?

You'll have to check my Instagram for my thoughts on sculpting my boyfriend's hair - but let's just say that I was VERY determined not to copy the hair on the kit. 

Now then. Time to sculpt the body. One big problem, though. When I opened the blue pack of clay meant for the t-shirt, the clay was completely hard. I couldn't use it! WHAT TO DO?

My boyfriend decided for me that his favorite color is black. So I prayed that I had enough of that clay to cover the rest of his body and set to work. I couldn't help but add the crumbled, useless bits of blue clay I managed to dig out. VICTORY CRUMBS.

I am also incapable of sculpting thin arms. 

There is no need to show you how painstaking it was to sculpt his legs. For a brief moment, I considered not giving him a torso. I was out of clay. But then - I still had brown clay left! If you see him on the street, please don't ask him why his pants are two different colors. He'll be embarrassed. Maybe. 

My polymer clay boyfriend is needy. Instead of sculpting flowers, I had to use the yellow clay for shoes. 

So here he is, standing up (leaning on) his paper bedroom. A bedroom I wouldn't have dreamed of, but you know. It came with the kit. 

Side by side comparison. They look almost the same. If you squint. 

Okay, so I didn't sculpt my dream boyfriend. My skills just aren't that great. I also realized that I will probably never sculpt adorable tiny clay food, so I should move on to another hobby like making pop-up books or terrariums. 

After finishing and cleaning up all the bits of clay, I finished by afternoon with another very February treat:

So tell me... how was your Valentine's Day? Have you ever attempted to sculpt before and how did it go?

A Very Grimbaud Giveaway!

Hello readers! We survived our first week of February. Or maybe it's just me because, after getting hit with a stomach virus at the end of January, I now finally feel well enough to eat... normal food. No more toast, rice, and saltines. Hurrah! 

AND JUST IN TIME! Because I have had Big Plans for this month. If I have anything to do with it, the rest of February is only going to get better. 

I'm excited to announce that I will be hosting a few giveaways this month... and they all start TODAY! 

No matter the giveaway, they all begin today (February 9th, 2016) and run until the end of the month, February 29th, 2016.

Who Can Enter?

ANYONE! These giveaways are open internationally and in the US. 

How Do I Enter the Giveaway(s)?

Depends on the social media. My giveaways are on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. 

Facebook

"Like" my page and leave a comment on my giveaway post. The winner will be chosen at random.

It's February 9th, which meaaaans... giveaway time! In order to win a personalized, autographed copy of LOVE FORTUNES...

Posted by Kimberly Karalius on Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Twitter

Follow me and Retweet my giveaway tweet. The winner will be chosen at random. 

Giveaway! RT & follow @kkaralius by 2/29 for a chance to win a signed copy of LOVE FORTUNES + book swag! Open Int'l pic.twitter.com/L7aa91Jaao

— Kim Karalius (@kkaralius) February 9, 2016

Instagram

Okay, so since I LOVE Instagram way too much, this giveaway is more involved. There will be THREE winners. Why? Because I'm running three different photo contests. You can enter one or all of them:

1. Post a Valentine's Day inspired photo with the words "Love Fortunes and Other Disasters" and "Kimberly Karalius" included in some way, shape, or form. Example below:

2. Post a Valentine's Day inspired photo with your copy of Love Fortunes and Other Disasters.

3. Post a photo of of First Kisses and Other Misfortunes - of you reading it, your favorite page, anything! It's up to you! 

In order to be entered into the contest(s), you MUST use the hashtag #thegrimbaudlife and PLEASE use these additional appropriate hashtags like #kimberlykaralius #LoveFortunesandOtherDisasters #FirstKissesandOtherMisfortunes #SwoonReads

I will choose one winner from each category, but I'll also be able to feature everyone's photos who entered on my blog (as long as you use the hashtags, my friends, haha). 

What do I win? 

Now we're talking, right? 

Every winner, no matter the giveaway, wins this totally awesome pack of Grimbaud book swag and other magical Valentine's Day goodies. Let me break it down:

Left to Right:

1. Big stickers! The one on the right is inspired by Nico and Martin's novella, First Kisses and Other Misfortunes.

2.  A small postcard (front and back)

3. Two different bookmarks. The one on the right is designed like a train ticket!

4. A personalized, autographed copy of Love Fortunes and Other Disasters! 

5. (Not pictured) A bunch of Valentine's Day/Grimbaud inspired goodies! 

What are you waiting for?

Regardless of how you feel about the Most Romantic Month of the year, it COULD be potentially much more awesome if you enter these giveaways. Take a page out of Fallon the gang's book (har-har) and be a little rebellious. 

If you have any questions, feel free to leave them in the comments! 

Barbie Dream Date and Other Valentine's Day Shenanigans

This is a Valentine's Day post. I swear. But since making plans for this blog post, a number of Interesting and Newsworthy things happened. If you find books and blood pressure romantic, then hang on. You're in for a treat ;)

Since I last said hello on this dear blog, life has kept me on my toes.

Not the kind of toe-keeping that you see on medication commercials, where the actors wear big smiles and play casual sports in the park. More like where-has-my-life-gone-oh-it's-February-time-for-laundry.

It's official guys: I am a master worrier during my work hours.

When the company was offering free blood pressure readings (and even free-er boxes of Cheerios), the entire department got tested. Including me. The fun part was that I got tested at the worst possible time.

I had a big assignment to finish before the day was up (as if that wasn't enough), and during my lunch break, I found out that the ARCs of my novel had been printed. I mean, how could I possibly STAY CALM????

My number was large enough to scare half the department.

It's hard not to take that number as a badge of honor. It means that I'm taking my job seriously. That I care, perhaps too much, about doing a good job.

But of course I worried even more that day, ran home, and took my blood pressure morning and night for the next three days. And my numbers were perfectly fine. I AM HEALTHY. I just really need to learn some relaxation techniques I can use at my desk. Too bad I can't blame caffeine (I drink water all day at work - I rarely leave my desk to make tea).

So that thing:

THE ADVANCED READER EDITIONS OF LOVE FORTUNES AND OTHER DISASTERS. OH MY GOSH. Swoon Reads let me know about the arrival of the books via Twitter, and I had to wait a few days after that to get my grubby author hands on them. But look.

Look at that pretty front cover:

And the pretty back cover:

Too many feels. I carried my ARC to work with me this week in my bag. I keep it on my bedside table. Sometimes, when I get sleepy, I poke it with my finger. Just to make sure it's real.

It seems like I've been waiting a long time to see my book in ARC form. Perhaps because I've been there to see Temple and Karole's books as ARCs, even while I was still working through copyedits at the time.

Around the same time, Big Swoonworthy News was announced on USA TODAY'S Happy Ever After blog:

You can find the tour dates by clicking at USA TODAY, or read more about the tour from Swoon Reads's blog. You'll find the tour dates under my "News & Events" tab at the top of the blog as well.

Are you on Goodreads? If so, you can let your attendance be known via my profile's event listings. And please do! I'd love to know if you're going, and at what stop of the tour. I can't wait to meet you!

I'm also thrilled to meet three other Swoon Reads authors: Sandy Hall, Temple West, and Katie Van Ark. Even though we've kept in touch through emails and social media, it's going to be awesome to meet them in person. I can't wait to ask Sandy what her favorite shade of Essie nail polish is, how Temple chooses what color to dye her hair next, and exchange funny/creepy teaching stories with Katie (once you've taught, you'll have stories, believe me).

Okay. So. All these events have totally dwarfed today of all days: Valentine's Day.

Or as I have the pleasure of calling it, Single Awareness Day. HAPPY SINGLE AWARENESS DAY!

If you've gotten a sneaky peek at LOVE FORTUNES AND OTHER DISASTERS, you know that I have a thing for cupids, hearts, and other sugary desserts. To celebrate this year, my mom and I went shopping and treated ourselves to appetizers and desserts at Grillsmith. I'd been having a craving for salmon bruchetta and bananas foster. And let me tell you, I feel completely satisfied now. Grillsmith is kind of a special occasion for me, mostly because it just feels fancy when you dine there, and I have fond memories of eating there with friends when I was in college (different town, same menu, haha).

I also fell madly in love today too - with notebooks. Aren't they gorgeous? The little guy at the top is a new cell phone cover. A waterfall of glitter and shiny stars. I like glitter, but only when it's safely contained!

And then there's Barbie Dream Date. GUYS. GUYS, THIS IS MY CHILDHOOD. I don't know what compelled my parents to buy this game for me when I was a kid. But whatever it was, I'm glad they did. Somehow I had convinced by brother to play the game with me (probably because you play as Ken), and it's amazing how much we both remember about it.

Now, at some point, we lost some of the pieces and had to throw it away, but I couldn't forget. I HAD to have this game again. So this year, I decided to make good on my yearning and finally order one.

Look at those sparkly eyes. They must be in love.

Nostalgia was practically dripping off of this box. I didn't cry, but I didn't hesitate to punch out the cards and put together the spinners either.

But you're probably thinking, what is this game about? 

Well, I typed the description from the back of the box, because there's no way I could have said it any better:

Every girl dreams of fantasy dates - and now girls can play Barbie Dream Date Game with Barbie and Ken! After picking out beautiful gifts for Barbie, Ken may take her horseback riding, snow skiing, or maybe even to a costume ball!  

Players travel around the locket collecting gifts for Barbie, then move around the date board collecting snapshots of their dates. When the clock strikes midnight, the player with the most gift and date cards wins the game! Players turn their cards over to see what kind of gifts Ken really gave Barbie (a box of candy, perhaps?). 

Every girl's a winner when she plays Barbie Dream Date game!

I'll let that sink in. 

My mom and I played the first game. We had to read the directions first, which are a bit more complicated than I remembered, but once we got started, it all came back to me. Like riding a bike. Once you play Barbie Dream Date, you never forget. 

This, my friends, is the game board when you're ready to start:

For this game, I chose the Orange Barbie and Ken, while my mom chose the Blue Barbie and Ken. No matter which couple you choose, Ken rocks the 90s fashion we all know and love. Enjoy it. Barbie and are separate at the start of the game. The idea is that Barbie is at home, getting ready for her date with Ken. Meanwhile, you're Ken, about to embark on an Unforgettable Night of wooing Barbie with your mysterious presents and excellent date ideas.

You travel across the board using the spinners at the bottom left of the photo. When it's my turn, I spin both of them at the same time and move with the combined number. However, if one or both of my arrows land on the little pink clock instead of a number - uh oh! I have to move the pink clock on the main game board one hour forward.

One less hour to spend with Barbie :(

When the clock's hand reaches midnight the game is over - and whoever got the most date and gift cards combined is the winner. Obviously, the winning Ken is rich and has great luck.

You go around the golden locket first; this is the only time you can collect gifts for Barbie. You're only allowed to take one gift per category, even if you landed on perfume three times. Unlike the dates, you can't look at the gifts until the game is over. In real life, then, we'd have to assume that Ken either chose his gifts blindfolded or invested in grab bags.

CANDY.

After the locket, you pick Barbie up at her house (I love that you have to attach her to Ken's stand - he's got room for two!) and begin the dating.

Each time you land on, well, a date, you get to pick the card that matches. Did you land on ice cream parlor? That means you took Barbie for ice cream. Great, right?

Even if you land on ice cream parlor ten times, you can only take the card once. Unlike the mysterious gifts, you wouldn't want to have more than one anyway. The pictures on the other sides are always the same. They are the same pictures already printed on the game board, in fact.

The best part is that Ken's hair color is different in a few of them. Either he had his hair dyed a few times throughout the night, or Barbie dated his evil twin(s). I wonder.

So the clock strikes twelve, right? The night is over. It's time to tally the cards and find out what the gifts are.

Here's what I ended up with. Orange Barbie and Ken had a great night. Costume ball, skiing, boating. Oh, and that box of chocolate? Nice:

But my mom's Blue Barbie and Ken truly made the most of their time together, even though her Ken forgot to pick up more gifts, haha:

Because the mysterious gifts were my favorite part growing up, I've got to show you what they are. And then you need to tell me what you would think of these gifts. Seriously:

So how was your Valentine's Day? Did you have a good time? If a 90s Ken gave you one of these gifts, what would you think? 

Fancy Free

This might as well be my Valentine's Day post. The heart-shaped chocolate boxes have been rotting in stores for months. My co-workers are making dinner reservations at the posh restaurants in town. I'm not sure if love is in the air, or if that's just the inky smell of the communal copy machine breaking down. But one thing's for sure: it's the same old story for me this V-Day.

I'm certainly not complaining.

Life keeps me busy at this time of year. After moving to a new cube at work, I've been enjoying more sunshine (being closer to the windows has its benefits). In addition to work, I've been making great headway on my current manuscript, We Could Fall in Love. I've just reached 30k which, by my estimation, is the halfway point. The plot thickens. From here on out, I'll be making my characters' lives extremely difficult.

That's not to say I'm not in a romantic mood.

There are three things that I'm thrilled to be able to do this V-Day. I've been in the habit of spending each V-Day indulging in the things I love to do and I've got a solid plan this time. Check it out:



3) Belt out Don Bluth love songs.

You know by now that Don Bluth is a big hero to me. This is not a surprise. But there's nothing like the music that comes out of his films. I'm not lying when I say that I love EVERY SINGLE song. If the OST's were actually available, I'd never hit "skip" on any track.

With that said, I've narrowed down my top three favorite romantic songs from his films. This was very hard. The sacrifices I make for you guys.




If you gave me the time, I could spend decades singing the praises of The Pebble and the Penguin. But my most favorite part of this movie is, well, Hubie's existence. HUBIE. I'm a pretty big fan of beta males (aka, the strong and kind male characters that DON'T throw women against walls or exude macho / stalker attributes).

Hubie's totally beta. He's a clumsy, sensitive penguin who is hopelessly in love with Marina. Throughout the film, he learns how to stick up for himself (and how to throw a mean punch), but doesn't change who he is inside (Don't even get me started on Marina. She's so cool). I happen to think that this song is pretty gosh darn romantic because he finds the courage to share his thoughts and feelings with the girl he loves.



Rock-A-Doodle is another bizarre gem I grew up with. I don't have an ear for Elvis (I really don't, sorry), but the songs from this film had me singing along nonetheless. In this song, Goldie realizes that she's fallen in love with Chanticleer - despite hating him in the beginning for stealing her spotlight. I remember being enthralled by the setting, while at the same worried that Chanticleer and Goldie would lose their balance on the swing and plummet off the building (I mean, who wouldn't be worried?). I also got really thirsty for milk. Totally romantic, I know. 


Guys, I'm dying. Thumbelina my favorite Don Bluth film. It's almost one of my top favorite films EVER. I should also probably mention, while I'm at it, that Prince Cornelius is my favorite animated prince. 
No shame. 
Anyway, "Let Me Be Your Wings" takes the cake for romantic in my book. First of all, Prince Cornelius has a pet bumblebee. Which is basically the fantasy equivalent of a motorcycle. Secondly, who wouldn't want to dance in midair, on water, or on top a giant pumpkin? Sign me up. The lyrics are sweet and full of promises that both Thumbelina and Prince Cornelius try to keep in the midst of their respective struggles. Plus, plus, plus! The finale, guys. The finale at the end of the movie makes me sniffle. A happy sniffle. 


2) Play otome games.

What is an otome game? Woo boy. Generally, it's kind of like an RPG, but usually has a female main character that ends up developing a romantic relationship by the end of the game. They usually come in the form of simulation games or visual novels, and I think they're a lot of fun because it's like reading a book (with good-looking anime guys, but you know, still book-like).

Amazon has a REALLY BAD selection of them, so when I got my iPhone, I couldn't wait to try them out.

If you mean agent rejections, then yes, hugs work.

My favorite one so far involves my main character finding out that she's actually the daughter of Japan's Prime Minister. Since the Prime Minister is always being threatened by rebels and other such troublemakers, my character is assigned a (handsome) bodyguard to protect her until the latest threat is over. Fun stuff. Also makes me want to write a more politically-driven story. Maybe.

As a writer, I also find these games to be fun because each guy has a different personality, from how he looks, acts, and speaks. It's kind of a wake-up call for me to make sure that my own male characters are well-crafted.

1) Use my miniature claw machine.

The truth: this claw machine actually belongs to my brother. But he left it at home when he moved out. So now it's mine.

What are your plans for Valentine's Day? Do you have a favorite Don Bluth film? Better question: do you also have a miniature claw machine? 

Like One of Those Victorian Fainting Women

There was nothing romantic about this February. Usually I enjoy writing V-Day posts, usually cataloging all the fun, single things I do in order to make the most out of the lace-and-chocolate holiday, but this year was different.

On February 14th, I was writhing in agony on the couch, suffering from food poisoning turned stomach virus. I had to call in sick, miss the conference panel I was supposed to be on, and ate nothing but saltines and toast. I couldn't even read!

Me, calling into work at 5:00 am: 

"Hey _______, it's me again. I'm still not better. In fact, I've somehow taken on a fever overnight and the stomach pains are getting worse. Clearly, I have no shame talking about this. But I'll make it quick. If I were to come into work today, I'd either slump into a pile of goo on the floor, like one of those Victorian fainting women, or excuse myself multiple times each hour. Don't worry, though. I'm going to the doctor today..." 

Through the haze of pain, I daydreamed about the travel writing panel I was missing and the stack of handouts that were now all but useless since no one could hear me speak about my experiences in England and my travel writing tips. Booooooo. I also wished for many things: a new stomach made of steel and stocked with an ancient Greek army, chocolate cake, a book that wouldn't make me woozy while trying to read, and a nap.

"No naps," my intestines said, contorting into the shape of a rubber band ball. "Sleep is for the healthy."

The awesome poster in question.

But it's been about a week since then and I'm almost recovered. It is so good to be back at school, to say hello, laugh, and look at a computer screen without feeling faint. I have great friends in the program too, including the incredibly talented and frilly Namie of the blog "Good Morning Lovely." (We're BFF office mates at school, haha). She gave me, like, the best get well soon present ever when I returned to school: a Doctor Who poster that has a very witty saying on it that makes me think - well heck, maybe time traveling would have been a better cure for me than antibiotics.

Grad school takes no prisoners and my thesis is no exception. I'll be working on my last set of revisions this weekend before starting another ream of paperwork and getting the poor thing formatted. In other story news, I've been starting to get chunks of free time that, thankfully, have allowed me to write more of the current Figment stories I have up. I want to continue posting chapters in a timely fashion and I feel as if my characters, long dormant under the wild Thesis Sea, are starting to rise again to the surface.

A tiny story of mine called "Her Body Was Map" has recently been published at Lightning Cake, a brand-new lit journal started by Figment's very own, Linna Lee. Linna even illustrates the stories that get published and I can't convey how ecstatic I am with the one Linna made for my story. It. Is. Brilliant.

So happy belated V-Day. As I sit here, sifting through the chocolate that had to wait, I guess I can't complain. It feels amazing to be well again - or, at least, to be able to dash up a staircase, eat a whole sandwich, and laugh until it hurts while watching crazy-fantastic Food Network shows.

How has your February been?